Vocabulary: How To Be a Jerk But Sound Classy

Word choice is EVERYTHING when it comes to expressing your ugly opinions while STILL maintaining the impression that you are an intelligent, thoughtful person. I've really enjoyed expanding my vocabulary lately through my reading and writing pursuits, and I've got some real kickers I'd like to share with you.

Here are Sarah Kane's "Classy Alternatives" for derogatory slights.

"You're being dumb fatuous in your decision-making lately."
Additional: obtuse, imbecilic

"He's obviously two timed beguiled you, girl!"
Additional: finessed, bedeviled 

"Why must you be so annoying vexatious?!"
Additional: repugnant, nettlesome

"He's been a total jerk brute to me!"
Additional: oaf, numbskull

"I dated a loser cretin."
Additional: schlemiel, ignoramus

"I'm done with all your BS palaver!"
Additional: puerility, incongruity, flummery

"I'm dealing with some bitterness, hatred and spitefulness rancor."
Additional: enmity, malignancy

"I freakin' hate your guts abhor you."
Additional: abominate, loathe

"That child is a brat minx."
Additional: urchin, hellion, imp

"Why do I always fall for the player rogue?"
Additional: knave, rapscallion, jockey

"That girl! What a b$#@% vamp!"
Additional: termagant, vixen, hell-cat, harpy

"To be honest, my conversations with him are so... boring banal."
Additional: pedestrian, vapid, trite, bromidic

I hope you find a few lackluster places in your conversations to include these updated derogatory descriptions! I assure you, a good vocabulary is a staple in being classy, and of course, being classy is what we strive for here on Blahg. Don't settle for banal interactions when you can create enmity by being a total harpy hell-cat.