Dear Campers.

Tonight we had our last closing campfire of the summer. I was reminded, by all the children sobbing around me, why I came here in the first place. 

I didn't come to impress the other counselors, win the hearts of my supervisors, or get accolades from parents.

Nah. 

I'll tell you why I came. I came for the little red-headed boy crying in front of the campfire tonight. I sat down next to him and asked him why he was sad. "Because I never been to a camp like this. And it was too short. Because it was fun. Fun things are always too short."

I came for the little girl who lit up during our cabin vespers as she told us all about her bullseye she shot in archery today. I came here so I could be next to her when she shot it. So I could have my hand on her shoulder. So her squeal of victory could bust my eardrum.

That's why I came! 

There have been times this summer where j have felt, and maybe not inaccurately, disliked (or at least misunderstood) by members of staff, even my supervisors. I came into this summer with a lot of attitude, ideas, and expectations. (Those things have definitely not made my life easy, by the way, but I'm glad I have them.) But really, those ideas and ambitions ultimately centered on two main goals:

1. Work the hardest I can work.

2. Impact lives.

Check. Check.

So what if other counselors did or didn't like the way I taught ultimate frisbee. So what if I got a 3 out of 5 on one of my evaluation columns for a category that reflects NOTHING about who I am. So what if half the kids I had in my cabin never said "thank you". 

That's not why I came. I didn't come for "thank you"s, for 5-out-of-5s. I came for my campers who screamed "MISS SARAH, I hit a bullseye!" And whispered "you won't ever forget your campers, will you?" 

I never will. I will forget the times I cared too much what people thought of me. I will forget who got counselor of the week session seven. I will forget the numbers my supervisors put on my evaluation. I will forget all the parents who shook my hand and patted me on the back. 

But my sweet campers, I will never forget you. I love you. You're why I came.