Wednesday, October 26, 2016

A Comprehensive Life Update in Three Parts

I have good news and bad news.

THE BAD NEWS: I have nothing to write about.

THE OTHER BAD NEWS: I'm writing anyway.

THE GOOD NEWS: ...

So, let's get started. Today we have three topics I'd like to update you on:

PART ONE: My dating life.
PART TWO: My academics.
PART THREE: My mental health.


PART ONE: Dating

I'd like to provide you with some completely made-up statistics about UNCA, the kinda weird wonderful school I attend.

40% of UNCA students are men.

39.5% of UNCA students have "man buns".

98% of men with man buns are un-datable by Sarah Kane approved standards.

So you see, that means only 0.0001% of UNCA men ARE datable by my standards, which leaves me in a bit of pickle.
Image result for person in a pickle

END OF PART ONE.


PART TWO: Academics

Well, I'd like to say there's a glimmer of hope in this section!

I've tried a new technique called "getting by by the seat of my pants".

IT WORKS PEOPLE, IT WORKS!

My grades are down, but so are my stress levels, and REALLY, which is going to shave more years off of my life? A "C" in astronomy or a mental breakdown? YOU TELL ME.


PART THREE: Mental Health

Again, glimmers of hope here folks! I've been going to therapy every other week for about two months now and I am absolutely stunned by the progress I've made. I recommend it to anyone. I'd like to do an illustration of me before and after therapy drawn by yours' truly.

BEFORE:                                                             AFTER:
 

So, you could say things are going A-okay over here in Sarah-ville.

Each day is a learning process.

Things have been hard. Good. Scary. Productive. Important. Interesting.

I wouldn't change a thing.


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