IN WHICH SARAH KANE GETS HER LIFE TOGETHER

I, Sarah Kane, hereby solemnly promise to wholeheartedly abstain from the following things which have proved to produce negative affects on my life:

1. Girl Scout Cookies in quantities of more than two
2. Cheap mud masks from Walmart
3. Giving people the benefit of the doubt
4. Coffee after 1 PM
5. Lending people stuff (money, books, WHATEVER!)
6. Counting my chickens before they have hatched
7. Shopping at Target (it's too painful... like texting your ex, you know?)
8. Youtube crime documentaries when it's dark out
9. Thinking I don't need to wear a coat, ever.
10. Agreeing to things THAT I DON'T WANT TO AGREE TO!

Yes. It's a stretch that I'll be able to accomplish all these merely by writing them out in a nice little numbered list. But a girl has to start somewhere! Honestly, I've made so many good changes in my life in the past 3 or 4 months... for instance, I've actually got a savings account now! With money in it! I've maybe matured since my little life crisis in September, and I'm slowly making progress in many areas (question mark). I'm putting time and money into nurturing my body, I'm doing my best to foster healthy friendships, and in terms of mySELF I'm really, REALLY working on becoming less of a push-over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation marks to infinity)

I may seem confident (do I? I hear I do, but I don't know). But I'm soooooo not! I'm a terrible, habitual people-pleaser, to the point where I would go without sleep or food just to avoid saying "no" to a boss or a friend. WELL. Since September, I've sort of had an internal shift where I just don't CARE about what people think *as much* as I do about my own personal health/wellbeing. I genuinely care about myself more these days, and I can look at situations with people and think, "will this person be there for me after I've made these sacrifices for them? Am I REALLY their only avenue for getting what they want? Is my future self going to thank me for this or be pissed at me?" and often the answer is "No. No. No, she'll be pissed at you."

Since this turning point, I've had to stand up for the things I want, not only with friends, but with my colleges, with employers, coworkers, insurance agencies, even family! It's hard to take control. But it feels really good to slowly accomplish little things through advocacy for what I want (or know is right!). It's OKAY to ask for extra help/information. It's OKAY to question why a certain procedure is happening. It's OKAY to say no to people. Coworkers, guys, friends, WHATEVER! I'm learning this. I knew it in theory before, but now I'm actively practicing what I know to be right.

I'm curious to know, do any of you have struggles with this? It's tough, because with things like self-advocacy you never know if people are having trouble with it, since outwardly they appear to be doing exactly what they want! People pleasers, gosh darn it.

While we're talking about self-improvement, one of these days I'll work on the fact that these blog posts are terribly self-centered! But you know... I made this blog to talk about the things I like, and I like talking about my life. YEAH! *hair toss*