I've been begging my dad to take me on a business trip with him since I was six or seven years old.
Here we are, a decade and a half later, and I'm finally going! Now, it's not to Indonesia or Tokyo or Spain (some of the places I've REALLY wanted to go with him!) but it's at least in a different state. Georgia, in fact. Right at the tippy lil edge of the Florida line. It's supposed to be in the 80s and 90s while we are there - exotic in comparison to Asheville, for sure.
Currently, I'm sitting in one of the three gigantic trucks that make our convoy. I've got a mildly disgusting plastic cup of coffee beside me and I'm waiting, patiently, while the men walk around pointing at various obscure metal structures and debating their use on the expedition.
I'm excited to get "away" from home for a few days - and to have new experiences. We will be working on a military base (Moody AFB) tearing down a retired plane and using it to build an aircraft trainer. I've never been to an Air Force base before, so it will be really cool to see one (and get a clearance badge! Hehe).
This morning I was pondering on how funny life is, and how we don't always get what we want, but we end up getting things we really need from the situations that make us the most discontent and disappointed. This year, I've suffered a tremendous loss - pretty much my entire life - my relationship, my college, my friends, and other things... Yet, if I was still at Agnes Scott living that life I thought I wanted, I would have missed out on some amazing experiences this year. Reconnecting with some people that are now my best friends... Spending time with my parents... Watching my sister mature... Traveling with my dad... Even just taking the time to start this blog. There's no way I could have written like I have on here back when I was dealing so much internal gunk.
First, taking the bold step to come clean about my life, and second, taking the TIME I need to heal - both have proved to be the right choices for me, even though I've had to sacrifice a few things I thought I really truly needed. Turns out, I don't need those things. What I need is what I have. Thanks, Life. In a Ted Talk I was listening to yesterday, a speaker said "when you ask life for patience, you don't get patience. You get a line at the bank."
Life really does present us with the challenges we need to develop the qualities we want. It's hard work, but most of the time, our situations provide us with the perfect platform to start developing in a direction we want to.
This year off from school has taught me some things I never really HAD to learn before:
-how to have an identity solely in myself and not other people
-how to be quiet and still without work, friends, or even thoughts
-the importance of honesty
-how to be creative in filling your time
-perspective is reality
-how to see through fake people
-how to learn and grow in my interests WITHOUT school
-self-doubt is my personal demon and own worst enemy
All realizations that really, truly, have made me a better and neater person - and all things that I didn't realize feel confident in until this year off forced me to re-evaluate.
So, anyway, I sit here in the giant truck and wait on my dad to clamber into the driver's seat, turn on Madonna, and start driving me to Valdosta! And life is good.
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