"Sarah's Lost In Her Own World Again..." OR My Inadequacy In Pop Culture

An ex boyfriend once said, "Sarah, you're so lost in your own world. I wish we had more interests in common."

You see, it's a big old world up in that brain of mine. It's been a big old world since I was a tiny little human. As a child, I remember spending hours lost in thought. Up in a tree. On a swing. Laying in the pine needles. My brain kept my busy.

I took things into my brain that many of peers at the time were not experiencing in the traditional school system - hours upon hours of classical music, books and books and books all tailored to my interests, and so, so importantly - nature every day. The world that was evolving itself in my mind was so rich and full. I had, I suppose, a very "classical" education filled with assignments like keeping notebooks on various wildlife, memorizing a lot of poetry, learning latin, copying famous artwork, and putting into practice lots of critical thinking! (That was the kicker.) A variety of different authors, artists, historians, and philosophers' ideas swirled around my head at a young age.

It was also just a beautiful world of thrilling stories and moving music and PLAY! I spent hours playing "imagine" with my best friend my little sister. And even on my own I was entertained through my own musical and artistic pursuits. Like I said - my brain kept my busy.

When I went off to college, I realized what a gift this upbringing was to me. I am truly creative, and also perceptive, when a lot of my peers aren't! I can see a huge disparity between me and many college-aged people when it comes to creative thought and creative action! And to have a basic education on the history of the WORLD even seems rare - the ignorance of the students around me astounds me, and upsets me, when I want to share this world of knowledge and idea with someone.

So, yes - I feel blessed to have this rich world in my head filled with stories and history and art and music, but it's also been something that's isolated me. Very few people hear a line of classical music in a commercial and go "VIVALDI! Gosh I just love Vivaldi" or burst into reciting 15 lines of Tennyson because the way the French Broad looked today conjured up The Lady of Shallot. And I miss being able to do that and not get looked at like I'm crazy and detached from reality. I feel very distant from the bubbling pop culture that many of my friends, classmates, and coworkers are a part of, that they all relate to so well with each other. I've been told by multiple boyfriends and friends that I haven't seen enough good movies or read the best book series or listened to the latest and greatest album and that before we can really nerd out together, I need to catch up!

But, at the end of the day, there's nothing more peaceful to me than driving home with Mozart, even if I'm alone in my outdated interests. I have a world of splendors in my heart and mind, and if I'm "lost in my own world", well, it's a pretty good world. I like it here.