We arrived late last night in the quaint Georgian town of Valdosta. After nearly an hour of driving around hoping a hotel would make itself known, we finally found a Best Western and set up camp for night. The vittles of choice happened to be a Waffle House within walking distance. Dinner was, well, atrocious. My meal had to be re-cooked various times for some truly memorable errors, like raw egg chilling on top of my hash browns. YUM! But, finally, we were fed and settled in our rooms for the night, where I slept TERRIBLY due to my father's snoring.
REGARDLESS, I was as excited as a little kid on Christmas Eve, because it was "First Day Of Working With My Dad" Eve!
Finally, the great day dawned - well, technically it hadn't dawned yet since we woke up at an UNGODLY hour (5:30!) - but, for me, the day was as good as signed sealed and delivered, because I got to dress like a MAN! There's something exhilarating about wearing mens' pants. I'm still wearing them now actually, which as most of you know is quite a feat, considering most pants don't make it past the 7 hour mark before they're traded for pajamas, or even better, a bathrobe.
These cargo pants are truly fantastic. I went to put my phone in my pocket and was worried I would never find it again, because the pockets are THAT DEEP. I kept my keys, my phone, AND NOT ONE BUT TWO CHAPSTICKS... all in a single pocket. Later, I kept crackers, cookies, AND A WATER BOTTLE in another one! Life is good, people. Life is good!
So, the pants. Those were great. But let me tell you about my DAY. We got to the base bright and early at 8AM, where I was honestly quite surprised to see sprawling green lawns and cutesy brick buildings! I was expecting something very grey and dreary. But it's quite a cheerful place! I get good vibes here at Moody AFB. Good vibes.
So we went in through the fancy guarded gates and I got a visitor pass made. My picture was TERRIBLE. I look guilty. My smile is out of control. Help. I can never get a good insta photo of this pass, it's just not gonna happen.
But at least I get access to controlled areas on the base, if nothing else! Woot woot.
We headed down to the Flight Line, where I started to learn a LOT about the Air Force. Suddenly my dad bellowed "FAAAHDDD CHEEECCCKK!" and everyone jumped out of the trucks and started feeling up the tires. WELL THEN! I later learned this is a "Foreign Object Damage" check, which is important because those Airmen don't like foreign objects on their Flight Lines... which I was reminded of later as I chased a 100 foot spool of bubble wrap wildly across it (more on that later).
So, we went and checked out the plane. Ah, she's a beaut she is. A massive C-130 Hercules with a shark face painted on her. Poor bird had already had her wings taken, so she looked a little decrepit. Not to mention the innards of the beast were an absolute MESS! I'm no plane expert, but I know an absolute mess when I see one.
My dad and his cronies started wahh-ing about what they were going to do, meanwhile I started scoping out the Airmen for potential mates. Ooh la la! Our sponsor Ryan was charming and polite, but I later found out he was married. I HATE IT WHEN MARRIED GUYS DON'T WEAR THEIR RINGS! It's just not cool. It's like looking at pretzels in a store case and then realizing it's for display only and they're plastic. Ugh.
So, Ryan is off the table, but it's okay, because there are plenty more hunks! (I'm not worried.)
But, pshh, I didn't come here just for the cute men in uniform, right!? *wink* I came to work. And work I did! As greasy metal plane parts piled up around me, I wrote tags for them all, bubble wrapped them, and kept a detailed list on a notepad! So professional! We broke for lunch and went into this little "shopping center" place in the base (seriously this base has everything. EVEN A WATER PARK) and had veggie burgers. It was better than Waffle House, that's all I'm gonna say.
After lunch, I continued my tagging and bubble-wrapping, noting a delightful breeze in the air! Refreshing! Then I turned around for more bubble wrap after a period of distraction, and lo and behold, my gigantic spool of bubble wrap, the size of a semi-truck tire, was GONE. But obviously it's not hard to miss a gigantic spool of bubble wrap hurtling through the wind, and I soon located it, too far away - I mean MUCH too far away - for comfort. I called for my dad and fell witness to one of the more, well, serious facial expressions I've ever seen on him. "GO GET IT" were his exact words I believe, and I ran after the bubble wrap, trying to corral it in the most discreet way possible. I know people saw me. I know.
Later, I almost accidentally crossed a giant red line that said "WARNING! DO NOT CROSS!" and basically said weapons could be involved if I didn't listen?! What?! It's like the military here or something... anyway, I almost crossed the red line, but again, the seriousness of my father saved me from a sad fate of death.
Oh well. At least I know what line to cross if I just can't handle this job anymore.
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