Bravery... It's Not What I Thought It Was!

I was just thinking this morning, as I lay snuggled in my friend Kathryn's bed after a late night with friends,  about who I was three years ago versus who I am today. The last several weeks, as I've adjusted back into the same friend group I had before I went off to college, I've really been faced with Past Sarah, since she's who I left behind and she's who people think they're getting when I walk into a room I haven't been in for three years. Lemme tell ya about it.

Last night, I went with my delightful friends Kat, Kristen, and Jordan down to Saluda. I hadn't been to the Halls' campground since 2013, and I was filled with memories and nostalgia of my "free" days back in high school. I look back and want to say that I'm now a more scared, withdrawn, "weak" person than I was then.

This is not the case.

As the girls and I walked down the gravel roads past the lake I realized that I am only stronger, smarter, and yes-- braver than I was. I used to think being brave meant always making the riskiest choice, for the greatest reward. Being brave meant going on a date with a cool guy because maybe it would work out and I just had to be confident go for it, even if I knew it was probably a terrible idea. Being brave meant taking a crazy unplanned trip out of town just because I could. "Brave" and "crazy" were practically synonyms.

I thought I was being brave when I jumped into things last year. (School, relationships...haircuts? yada yada!) Now, though, don't think I was brave.  I think I was foolish. Being brave isn't being foolish in the hopes that you won't suffer consequences because somehow you are exempt from them.

I now think I have a level of wisdom I didn't have then. And the risks I take are risks built on trust, faith, and intelligence. They're different risks. They're more decisions I DON'T make than decisions I do. I've learned the art of waiting, listening, and evaluating. I've learned to say no to things that I once thought "yes" was the brave answer to. Maybe it's braver to turn down exciting things because you know it's better for yourself in the end. It's certainly harder. Bravery isn't a brash confidence-- it's a deliberate choice that goes against your natural instinct. Whether that instinct is to hold back, go forward, speak your mind, or stay quiet-- thinking bravely is when we use our intellect to determine it will take a choice out of our comfort zone to create the best outcome. And then the follow through is when we make a brave decision and act on that rationale.

Just some jumbled thoughts I had this morning and needed to get off my chest. Be brave, friends. Whether it's making a leap or staying still, don't make those choices based on weakness and fear or even impulse and desire. Be smart and be brave.