My Summer: Where I Will And Won't Be

I change plans like celebs change their hair: often.

I like to think it’s not because I’m high maintenance, a diva, or really flaky – rather, I choose to believe that it’s due to my acute level of self-awareness that my plans change so often! I’m just adapting to the ever-changing environment that is Sarah Kane’s emotional and social terrain! *eye roll*

Here's a list of plans in my life that have changed in the past YEAR alone:

Attending Western Carolina University 

Attending Agnes Scott College

Dating

Working at Target

Being a brunette

Learning how to knit

and now:

Spending my summer at Lutheridge

*deep breath before plunging into emotional turmoil*

*PLUNGE*

I loved being a counselor at Lutheridge last year. It served a great purpose in my life spiritually, socially, and in many other ways that perhaps no one will ever hear about. But this plan is changing, and I will no longer be packing up my bags and heading off to “A Place Apart” for three months.

This choice was hard - I mean hard - for me to make. Anyone who’s been a counselor at Lutheridge knows it is a really great environment filled with relationships, spiritual growth, and FUN! And I myself am still plagued with doubts that tell me I could have, or should have included camp in my summer.

AND, despite the fact that I do have a legitimate, understandable reason for not returning to camp (which, no, you're not missing - I'm purposely not explaining it because you could just watch a Soap Opera instead) it still HURTS to have to make that choice. LEMME TELL YOU. It stinks to have to give up something good just because of one bad situation – one bad person.

Oh, *sigh*. It is the right choice. Even though it makes me sad.

BUT WHO WANTS TO BE SAD! *shoots confetti into the air, blows party horn and giggles maniacally*

The part that’s not sad is that in lieu of Lutheridge I will be spending the summer with my dad and his work crew, traveling the U.S. and working hard in the sun and the rain and under the warm metal of airplanes (AND I LIKE PLANES). In between trips, I’ll be at home – resting and preparing for the new school year, cuddling my babies at the YMCA, driving my boys to baseball every Monday, typing up spreadsheets in my dad’s office, and of course, WRITING ABOUT ALL OF IT!

This will be a good experience, in its own, different way. There won’t be campers, there won’t be communion, there won’t be face-painting and foot-stomping songs and eating pudding every week.

But there will be laughter, there will be sun, there will be challenges, there will be TRAVELING, and there will be, throughout it all, my open mind – ready and waiting for whatever comes my way.

My plans have changed.

The fact I’m going to have a good summer, a summer I need, hasn’t.