What Is the Point of Goosebumps?

It has now been nearly eight months since my return from The World to my quiet home in Asheville, North Carolina. I came home in the wake of a trauma - still shell-shocked and unable to admit the severity of it... but soon, I began to understand the depth of what happened to me. Those first few weeks, I wondered if I would ever be able to genuinely smile again.

Well, I did. I've smiled, laughed, hugged, loved, worked, played, dreamed, and healed a lot in these months. Somehow, despite the gravity of hard times, I've been able to reach out and touch many people around me.

The human spirit is truly amazing.

I used to hear about hard situations people were in, and I'd think wow, how can they just function in real life after that? Well - somehow, dear past-self, we DO!

Again: the human spirit is truly amazing.

Somehow, we pick ourselves up and carry on even after awful, terrifying, soul-numbingly painful things have happened to us! Day by day we find a way to get ourselves through. And what's most surprising to me is that we find ways to put our pain to work for our own good. Maybe that's all pain is - a needed, inherent reaction that works to get something done. What it's getting done I'm not totally sure of yet. But I trust pain.

When I run, I feel my legs aching, but I know they're growing stronger. When I play piano, I feel my fingers throb, but I know they're growing faster. When I cry, I feel all my emotions tearing at my idealistic expectations of life - but something (my mind? my heart? my faith?) is growing stronger.

Like muscles under pressure, and fingers being stretched, my BEING is in pain over what's happened in my life. But I trust it. It's working in me. Changing me. Hopefully for the better. (And it's not as if I'm just a miserable bundle of pain right now, every day, all the time - NO.)

Yesterday I sat on a bench with my friend Sylvia and in the midst of discussing all the blah-ick-ugh-yuck-meh that I've journeyed through, my mind was caught with a question while looking at her cold legs. What is the point of goosebumps? 

The fact that after a consuming, traumatic event the human brain still finds energy for small, irrelevant wonderings - well. That's something. It just goes to show how complex and resilient we are as people. We aren't just machines that can be programmed. Or animals that can be trained. We have something in our core that sets us apart. A nature, a resilience, a strength. We are made, I believe, to be able to endure suffering and come through it on the other side with a new kind of beauty. And it's that thought that keeps me going, even as I feel my mind and soul aching with pain.

Anyway, so, what ARE the point of goosebumps, you're probably wondering.

I was surprised to learn that goosebumps are a result of the stress response in your body. There are tiny, minuscule little muscles at the base of each hair follicle, apparently. And those leetle teeny muscles are so well in-tune with our stress response that when we're experiencing a strong emotion, those muscles alllll tense up, creating goosebumps! The stress hormone adrenaline is then released, giving us a little something "extra" to help us when we're cold, afraid, and maybe overwhelmed.

The stress response itself can be an uncomfortable thing - who wants prickly sensitive skin and sweaty palms and a racing pulse? Doesn't sound like fun. YET. It's what we need to deal with something much more threatening. If we didn't FEEL that response, we might not have the ENERGY we need to deal with imminent danger, or freezing to death.

Amazing, right? I bet you didn't even know what a gift goosebumps were.

And, so, it seems we humans are well-equipped in our minds and our bodies to deal with discomfort - whether it's getting goosebumps when we're cold or processing a trauma in our minds and hearts.

When you're feeling pain, remember that it's a natural, organic response to a situation. And remember that it may be, like goosebumps, a much-needed discomfort that is ultimately working in your favor. Maybe it's crafting something somewhere deep inside your heart and mind to stretch you, shape you, and make you stronger.

I'm sorry if you're in pain right now. Pain sucks. But I don't think it's without a purpose. Think of your pain as the stress response of your soul. Trust that your psyche, like your body, is dealing with this in its own, wonderfully-made way. And one day, when that work of pain is done, you'll feel the stronger muscles, the stretched fingers, that all serve to make you BETTER. Better at doing things you love. Better at being yourself.

When I now, eight months past a trauma, lay in bed crying, I think:

With every tear I cry, I shed a little more of this burden. With every breath, I breathe out a little more confusion. With every vision of the past, I process a little more of what happened. With every sob, I lose a little of my need to understand why me?

And with every cutting ache of pain, something good inside me is growing. Or perhaps not growing. Perhaps it was always there. Perhaps it just takes pain to REVEAL the resilience of the human spirit.